My diseases all fall under the blanket category of invisible illness. I often am told I "don't look sick" but I am told I look tired. A lot. I've also gained a significant bit of weight. But most people tell me I carry it well or that it's not too noticeable. I, of course, am full of depression and low self-esteem and find this hard to believe. I see the extra pounds on my body and the bags under my eyes.
I wear make up with much more frequency now, because I need that confidence boost of feeling pretty. I NEVER wore make up all through high school and college. I also wear make up because it gives me more motivation to not cry. There's not much more unattractive than teary mascara streaks.
A dear friend sent me a link to this blog today: http://mywifesfightwithbreastcancer.com/. She challenged me not to cry while perusing it, and she successfully predicted I'd fail at that attempt. I give you all the same challenge. I also take with me, at least for right this moment, the inspiration to be even more open and vulnerable via this blog.
Occasionally I post less than beautiful photos on here, on injection day or whatnot. But I still really favor pretty pictures, both here and on Facebook. I'm trying to have the courage, in a multitude of ways, to make my illnesses less invisible. So let's do it.
Sometimes I wear makeup & try to be pretty or sparkly or at least look AWAKE:
Right now I can hardly keep my eyes open. This is legitimately how I look in this moment:
And if I TRY to keep my eyes wide open this is how it turns out:
Let's be honest... Those are some serious bags under my eyes. I'm going out to dinner with family. And I will be putting make up on in the car.
But the important message here... That brave man and his tragic loss of his wife. We live in a society that tries to look away from the sad and yucky things. We live in a culture in which curvy women feel the need to defend their bodies. And sick people feel the need to hide it. The message is that vulnerability is BAD. And I'm trying to fight against that.
Maybe letting people in is a good thing. Maybe sharing your weakness can be strength. Maybe. Just maybe.
I wear make up with much more frequency now, because I need that confidence boost of feeling pretty. I NEVER wore make up all through high school and college. I also wear make up because it gives me more motivation to not cry. There's not much more unattractive than teary mascara streaks.
A dear friend sent me a link to this blog today: http://mywifesfightwithbreastcancer.com/. She challenged me not to cry while perusing it, and she successfully predicted I'd fail at that attempt. I give you all the same challenge. I also take with me, at least for right this moment, the inspiration to be even more open and vulnerable via this blog.
Occasionally I post less than beautiful photos on here, on injection day or whatnot. But I still really favor pretty pictures, both here and on Facebook. I'm trying to have the courage, in a multitude of ways, to make my illnesses less invisible. So let's do it.
Sometimes I wear makeup & try to be pretty or sparkly or at least look AWAKE:
Right now I can hardly keep my eyes open. This is legitimately how I look in this moment:
And if I TRY to keep my eyes wide open this is how it turns out:
Let's be honest... Those are some serious bags under my eyes. I'm going out to dinner with family. And I will be putting make up on in the car.
But the important message here... That brave man and his tragic loss of his wife. We live in a society that tries to look away from the sad and yucky things. We live in a culture in which curvy women feel the need to defend their bodies. And sick people feel the need to hide it. The message is that vulnerability is BAD. And I'm trying to fight against that.
Maybe letting people in is a good thing. Maybe sharing your weakness can be strength. Maybe. Just maybe.
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