But at 5-month, we didn't even notice until my dad texted me wishing me a happy anniversary. The amusing thing is Kevin & I weren't even talking to each other (over a stupid fight--we're really good at those) when that text came in. So in bitterness I said, "Daddy wishes us a happy anniversary." It was probably the first thing I'd said in over an hour. I'm incredibly mature. Needless to say, marriage has made both of us good at apologizing.
Anyways, it's really true that I'm married. I mention it pretty regularly on here, but for my long-distances loves I have photographic proof to share with you! I probably should've shared this a while ago, but what's that saying about better late than never....?
For those of you who don't know the specifics, our wedding was very intimate and small, and planned very quickly (and I mean weeks quickly, not months). It was kind of a shotgun wedding, only I wasn't pregnant. Coming from a large family, we opted to only include immediate relatives, or else a domino effect would ensue (if we invited this person, so we have to invite that cousin...) We were married at Kevin's parents' home, the day before the Super Bowl. My parents were married at her parents' home, the day of the Belmont Stakes in 1982.
The plan was to keep it around 10-15 people. It escalated quickly to 30. Because of Kevin. I could've stopped at 10, easily. He has a lot of best friends, and they all have spouses. Still, it was pretty close to the small, intimate, personal day I wanted. We had no bridal party, although anyone could see Ashlei-Rene was quite clearly my maid of honor, and handled the job with perfection. I wore a silvery dress from Macy's, no big poofy white princess gown. Kevin wore a suit he had worn as a guest at a wedding one week prior. Blaze was the best dogman. I had a simple bouquet and Kevin wore a simple boutonnière. We spent the night before the wedding together and even went out for breakfas. We were together up until about 2pm on our wedding day.
Originally my dear friend, Lynn, was going to wed us, but due to a strange Virginia law (fact: stating a person with a religious ordination, must actively serve a congregation) she was unable to marry us in the state of Virginia. So Kevin's childhood friend's father, a real life Pastor/Reverend/he-didn't-give-me-his-title-just-his-first-name, graciously stepped up with about 5 days notice. Sidebar: marrying your cousin, your first cousin, is totally legal in Virginia.
To honor my heritage (and our actual preferences rather than traditional wedding pretenses) we had all Italian food. I wasn't wearing white so I didn't have to worry about spilling red sauce! Homemade lasagna, garlic bread, and salad. For dessert we opted for cannoli (my personal favorite & not just Italian, but Sicilian) and tiramisu (his favorite). It's not that we dislike cake, but it doesn't rank high on the favorite dessert list for either of us. So thankfully we actually got to eat at our wedding!
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.”
– Song of Solomon 1: 2
All photos are courtesy of C. F. Harrington Photography (unless otherwise noted).
These are the vows we used for the handfasting. They resonated deeper with me than our Scripture passages.
Blaze was happy hanging with me pre-ceremony.
About an hour before the ceremony, a light dusting began. It was freezing, but my Cameron, my photog, and I decided it was good luck and a must do for some majestic snowy princess fairytale pictures.
Mom handing me my bouquet. Sadly for her, my perfectly small and intimate wedding stole from her a lot of the typical Mother-of-the-Bride things. The only others we shared were a pre-wedding mani/pedi and lingerie shopping (which will not be pictured!)
The pre-wedding party upstairs was much more fun for my monster than the ceremony itself. He didn't enjoy being made to sit still in a room full of friends. I also believe those eyes are objecting to the union, because he prefers his mommy all to his little self.
Pre-wedding, since I was ready waaaaay early, I had an impromptu party upstairs (where I was hiding from Kevin). Anytime one of "my people" arrived, I invited them upstairs to see me. Someone told me that's not traditional--everyone is supposed to ooh and ahh over the bride upon her entrance, but I'm nothing if not unconventional! Daddy and I shared a pre-wedding dance, to "Butterfly Kisses" because I've always said that would be our daddy-daughter dance, should I ever tie the knot. Ironically, I had never intended to tie the knot. Ever. "Butterfly Kisses" is my song with my Daddy, but we'd always laughed at the idea of ME being married. But I digress...our small wedding didn't include music or dancing, so this Daddy/Daughter dance moment came courtesy of my iPhone playing a music video (and came with more judgment of my lack of convention from others because I was yet married and Kevin and I weren't having a dance). Two things to say to that: 1-Whatever, I do what I want. And 2-It's my party and I'll cry (or dance or socialize) if I want to.
Upon being married, I immediately inherited two beautiful nieces. I couldn't be more in awe of these little beauties, but they're still unsure about me. Lorraine and Lilliane (Lily-an not Lily-Ann, but we just call her Lilli).
My handsome groom.
And our lively pastor.
Kevin appreciates my candor and tells me I can share whatever I want on this blog. So in full disclosure mode I will say that this photo of Daddy "walking me down the aisle" occurred only after he practically dragged me down the stairs and ordered me forward. I stopped going down the stairs no less than 3 times and it had nothing to do with the difficulties of walking in heels. Moments before he and my brother were privy to the greatest single moment of terror in my life to date.
I haven't asked Ash what she was thinking during this picture, but my best guess is she still thought I might be a Runaway Bride. Weddings terrify me (even as a guest!) and forever is overwhelming. I never paused when getting ready; there was no break in me stopping and reconsidering (though I had a Thelma and Louise plan for if Kevin no-showed). But I did share with her that I had this terrifying fear that I would be physically unable to speak during the vows and the "I do" moment.
My 2nd Momma [Warfield], Wifey, Moo (with David hiding behind her), Mommy, and Father-in-Law--who sweetly video taped the wedding for us (which was an amazing gift, because I had a sober blackout and don't remember anything that was said during the ceremony. I just know I tensed my shoulders damn near up to my ears and I shook a lot.)
My nieces spent the ceremony crawling on the floor, much of it at my feet. That's their loving mother, my sweet-sis-in-law, sitting with them.
I inherited two brother-in-laws. One was too sick to fly in from Cali sadly, but he was Skyped in, as was one of K's childhood besties. Also, brother was just in town last week so I finally got to meet him. Nothing but warm welcomes from my new family. Everyone of my new family members is someone I would choose for a friend, so I believe I hit the in-law jackpot!
Lorraine could seriously be a child-model. And I don't think that's familial bias. She's a beauty.
There's a baby at my feet! Sweet Lilli was all giggles and happiness. Sis-in-law said she thought Lilli's happiness and draw to me was a good sign that she was comfortable with me. All good omens when joining a new family!
My feet are also bare, because I wanted a barefoot ceremony, but I wanted to walk in wearing my Cinderella shoes (that I originally wore in a beauty pageant at 18 years old and were previously shown outside in the snow dusting). On our wedding video there is a terribly awkward moment of me suddenly remembering I'm wearing shoes--then Kevin and I whispering about it, instead of listening to the pastor. Just like two kids in school! Of course our conclusion was that I could subtly (not!) slip out of them mid-ceremony. That video moment is priceless.
At first I thought Blaze came over. My FIL told me there was a moment when I noticed the girls and turned away from Kevin and the pastor to look at them. He said for half a second he (and everyone probably) was terrified that I was upset... But then I quickly broke into a huge smile.
Then I worried it'd turn into the scene from the Nutcracker where about a dozen children come dancing out of a woman's dress. (This reference may only make sense of your oldest friendship is with a ballerina)
Also, thank goodness I was wearing good coverage panties, because I think she peeked up the slit in my dress!
My flowers, but this time there are wedding bands on both our hands!
Baby girl with my FIL who is more commonly known as "Dzedo" (the D is silent). My MIL is "Baba". These are bohemian/Czech names for grandma and grandpa. (I kind of wanted to be Zia Shanley, but there's no way that'll stick)
My in-laws, minus my California brother.
My lifelong ballerina bestie, and perfect, flawless, MoH....
And my Moo! I don't think any of K&my pictures look THAT in love <3
My original wifey, who so graciously shared me. I love that pink tie.
The Crutchfield's, of course, plus G's gf Kylie.
The above pictures were all courtesy of Cameron at C.F.Harrington Photography https://www.facebook.com/cfharringtonphotography. Her approach to photography is photojournalism, storytelling, realism. I appreciate this in our photographs, but I know (and she knows) it is not for everyone. If you want a photog who will pose you traditionally, she'll work with you, but she isn't exactly your gal. If you want someone whose pictures will truly capture the essence of the subjects and the event, she's your girl. If you want a photog who will blend into your event as if it's just one of your girlfriends snapping shots, Cameron is your girl! She will also, while photographing, politely share her professional expertise on hair and make up--for a first time bride and MoH doing hair & make up alone, such tips are incredibly valuable.
The following photos are not from her, as you'll likely be able to tell!
Well actually these pics are all Cam's shots, but I put it together using InstaCollage. They were in the first batch of photos that she sent me.
Shot from my brother's iPhone. Sheer terror. Immediately before Dad dragged me down the stairs. Emotionally they both gave me away, but technically only Daddy. Perhaps the most traditional element of the day?
The wedding ceremony was in the living room and there wasn't exactly an aisle to walk down, so we just exited the room and ran upstairs to K's old room, the one in which I got ready. Privately, with Ashlei officiating and no other witnesses, we did a Pagan handfasting (binding) ritual after the ceremony, to honor my eclectic beliefs. When we thought Lynn was going to officiate, the wedding would've been more openly spiritual, personal, and less Christ-churchy-fire&brimstone. So I needed this.
Our actual vows were:
"In the presence of God, I, _______,
Take you, ______, to be my wife/husband,
From this time onward,
To join with you and to share all that is to come,
To give and to receive, to speak and to listen,
To inspire and to respond,
And in all our life together to be loyal to you,
With all my being, my whole life long."
We also had a line added about embracing each other's family as our own and Kevin had a line about taking Blaze as his own too.
Immediate, warm welcome to the family and the friend family from Kevin's peeps! Jason is my local brother-in-law and Michelle is Kevin's childhood friend who skyped in.
Self-shot of my rings. They are quite shiny!
A complete album can be found here: https://plus.google.com/photos/113457249280314664219/albums/5896523749809274065?authkey=CO7g49f_3dmNFA
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